Mind dissolves

Flying into the grey of a dishevelled mind
There is no hope, no way to go
Thoughts are contorted and flawed
The mind sings no more

No way out, no way to go
The mind is numb, the mind is full.
Like crazy paving mixed
Amongst the seeds of time

Living like they want you to
Fakery and smiles
Heart tearing with pain
Crying silent tears.

Dispirited passion
Moving in numbed circles
That ever decrease
Strangling the very life of you.

Neither great joy nor feeling
Nor God, nor compassion
Just painful memories
Burning the tender soul

The mind twists and struggles
Dissolving in the mist
In the desperate duty to live
The life that God intended.

Feeling Blue

Visited bluebell woods today, nice to be with Mark and take photos but J is huge in my head and it HURTS.

I cannot explain to anyone how I feel cos A and G try to understand but I don't think they do really.

Am continuing to write poetry and trying very hard to keep smiling whilst inside I am screaming and crying.