trying to sort brighton vision of hope clinic visits for mondays and fridays beginning march.
Oncologist today - wants me to have bone scan and some other test - completely last straw. mark struggling hugely, im struggling with this.
no very last straw is Dr would like me to start some chemo but appreciates we may not want to yet. No evidence either one way or other as to whether starting chemo when there are no symptoms is beneficial or not (prolongs life or not). not overly keen on us doing alternative things well he wouldnt be, head totally messed up. Private treatment - huge cost. Chemo - they have no way of telling if will work or not for each patient and I dont just mean cure I mean tumour reducing/stying static in size.
There is some very good treatment he advocates with good results - only availably privately (NICE doesn't think worth the cost) - guess how much - over £2500 every 3 weeks for life.....................
uni work concentration is rock bottom and has been all last weekend ( Vicar told me I should come to terms with prognosis, be very careful about chasing the wind) and this week also. Trying very hard to do analysing of survey, no further forward on writing report than I was few weeks ago......
Plaster off Tuesday coming - driving apparently can be a few weeks. Have you ever felt there is no point cos at moment I do.
tomorrow different - up down up down high hopeless back and forth just seems how it is
and so many people all struggling through same things - god how awful life is.
will write monday better mood...? get more uni stuff done by then all being well
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