CT scan

Horrendous day. No food or drink from 9ish this morning and had a very worrying night. Scan was booked for 2pm and we arrived a bit early. As usual I chose the orange flavoured barium mixture drink - drink this over 45 minutes, then off to the room for the scan. First of course you have to have a canular put in so they can inject iodine into your vein to highlight your blood vessels. I told them my veins are rubbish after the chemo and they suggested I lay on the bed. Five tries later and me panicking and it hurting they finally decided I should go up to the Basing Unit (the chemo ward) to have the canular put in there. By this time I was very miserable and after warming up my hand and arm they had another go. It took another 3 attempts before it was finally in. I did not want them to put it in my right arm cos of the lymphodema and they said they wouldn't except in extreme cases. Back to the CT scan room and they were able to inject the iodine and do the scan.
I do not know which is worse - having nightmares about the cancer spreading and not knowing or having this horrendous time every time I go for a CT scan.

Lymphodema

It is bad enough getting cancer, having a mastectomy but to get lymphodema is just an insult. It came about after I'd finished radiotherapy and chemo and my hand and arm was very swollen.
Today I had yet another review of the size of my arm - its 13% bigger than left side. It has been as low as 8 and as high as 15%. You are meant to massage the lymph fluid and wear a compression sleeve - the latter I do, the former I don't do any more after the recurrence of cancer because I feel sure moving the lymph around the body from the 'infected side' into the neck, across the chest may have contributed to the cancer returning. I don't know. I spoke to my consultant -she said that is a possibility, small but possible.
I HATE wearing a sleeve.

Snow in the village

As like everyone we are in the grips of snow. Having worked 3 days at home this week I also spent a little while going around our village taking photos of snow covered buildings and the Common.

My counselling was cancelled and I feel very miserable. I have had my hair cut to 'cheer' myself up.

This week we went to see Rabbi Lionel Blue (of Thought for the Day - Radio 4 fame). He is 79 today and very sprightly and can tell a good joke. He signed one of his books for me "God Bless". He said when he feels down he does something - anything - even sorting socks.