After a major panic about the recent assignment looking at various theorists (like Belbin) and group roles and motivation it appears I did do well. In fact I got a 'good pass' - the highest I can get and in fact the only one in class it seems to have done so. Ann (tutor) is very encouraging and says I'm working at very high level. I think she understands why I am...
And so I am trying very hard to hold on to this achievement, it is so hard to keep holding on....
I despair of my brain. One minute virtually suicidal, the next euphoria that 'I did it' - what a rollercoaster ride I am having.
Sunday 14 March 2010
Treatment update
The first treatment went well considering my veins but sadly the next one proved impossible. after 3 attempts for canular to be put in I got very upset and with the worry that I could just not do this for another 24 sessions we decide to abandon the intravenous bit of Vitamin C, turning instead to Liposomal Oral Vitamin C, a very new type of vitamin C taht is better absorbed by the body in large quantities. The clinic and treatmetn was supposed to be a positive experience and it was not turning out to be. I feel very guilty because Mark was pinning his hopes I know on this Vit C 'working'. I did not know what to do but could not face one more try even - my arm was incredibly painful as each canular try went in. So now my treatment regime consists of this, building up from 3g daily (which would cost £30 a month) to as many grams as my body can take (the bowel limit) so this could be 12 or even 20 or 40g per day. Each gram comes in one sachet which you mix with water. 1g = £1.
All supplements continue to be very important.
And I am still going to the clinic for the infra-red sauna heat treatment and ozone therapy. We are adding in breathing in ozone for 20 minutes - the ozone must be filtered through olive oil to make it safe.
Oncologist last week - the bone scan shows suspicious areas on right shoulder joint, right knee and lower spine. They are sitting on fence - he won't say it definitely is but given my history.....it is likely to be bone cancer. He wants me to start bisophonates - can be taken orally - as soon as possible. I said I will think about it. I will have a scan in late June to see how the 'unorthodox' - I say 'alternative' treatment - is going. I see him on 8th July.
All supplements continue to be very important.
And I am still going to the clinic for the infra-red sauna heat treatment and ozone therapy. We are adding in breathing in ozone for 20 minutes - the ozone must be filtered through olive oil to make it safe.
Oncologist last week - the bone scan shows suspicious areas on right shoulder joint, right knee and lower spine. They are sitting on fence - he won't say it definitely is but given my history.....it is likely to be bone cancer. He wants me to start bisophonates - can be taken orally - as soon as possible. I said I will think about it. I will have a scan in late June to see how the 'unorthodox' - I say 'alternative' treatment - is going. I see him on 8th July.
Saturday 6 March 2010
Treatment
Started intravenous Vitamin C yesterday at the Vision of Hope clinic in Brighton - a 2 hour drive - with hyperthermia and ozone therapy. Being claustrophobic this enclosed sauna type tub treatment was difficult and panic inducing BUT I did it. Heat is at 55 degrees C - not pleasant but I kep thinking this is killing the tumours, this is killing the tumours so please God I hope it will.
After a two hour break before vit C can commence Dr Andre was able to get canular in first time - he wanted to do a Hi Five! Clinic was very cold and M and I having difficulty keeping out of panic mode.
Discussed the supplement regime, and it's adjusted slightly but still works out at hundreds per month.
We visited Devil's Dyke, local beauty spot just north of Hove for a late picnic lunch.
Very exhausting day , having left at 7am. I was asleep by 9.30pm - unheard of... all week previously waking with horrible dying nightmares and unable to sleep.
After a two hour break before vit C can commence Dr Andre was able to get canular in first time - he wanted to do a Hi Five! Clinic was very cold and M and I having difficulty keeping out of panic mode.
Discussed the supplement regime, and it's adjusted slightly but still works out at hundreds per month.
We visited Devil's Dyke, local beauty spot just north of Hove for a late picnic lunch.
Very exhausting day , having left at 7am. I was asleep by 9.30pm - unheard of... all week previously waking with horrible dying nightmares and unable to sleep.
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