Going crazy

Help me i'm goign crazy my head is going mad. Andrew is leaving I don't know what to do I can't go through all this again, i acn't get so depressed I wont function there is so much to do my university stuff is looming i ahve to practise my study skills, i have cards to make and loads of things, i feel very VERY ill. I dont want to live any more - it sounds melodramatic but the pain in my heart from J and A is huge now and I don't know what to do. everyone says you are gettign better i almost bagan to believe it - this faking thing perhaps i should havetried to do better after J left me, perhaps she wouldnt be in my head so much now NO that is rubbish she is always in my head oh God what shall I do i feel sick and scared and cant stop cryign cant sleep last night -one hour sleep at 5. please help me God No God I hate you I don't wnat you I don't. I cant do THIS I really cant. i thought i was gettign better everyone says so it is such a lie unless you sort what is in your heart your head what has made you hate yourself what makes you have people in your head how can i do it on my own without Andrew he was going to make it work he said he could he siad we all could as a team me, him Gina but its no good now.God forgive me for what i've been doing.