It's funny when you are feeling like the proverbial '**' how if you are not looking something helps a little tiny bit to make you feel like things could just be okay for just a very little while. And so it is with Jackie's textile workshops and how it is with Gina. It doesn't last however and by the time I'm part way down the A340 (and sometimes just getting in my car) I'm in floods of tears again.
After a particularly horrible week at work I had a little hour or two of calm with Jackie and we did some hot iron fabric transfer work using leaves and lace as masks on fabric. It became clear that you didn't have to be good, the 'happy accidents' just worked and you ended up with a passable result that seemed to please. Experimenting was the key and for a short while I began to breathe a little freer. Back in my car, my house, my work, reality is there and I am me and there is no getting away from that fact that I have this huge pain in head and heart and body and I don't know how to make it all go away and I can't breathe and life is overwhelming and why did Andrew go and why did Janet leave and why is she so much in my head it is so very very painful I can't bear it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment