Back to work

I was supposed to see Andrew for last time tomorrow but he can't make it so now it will be in a week's time, head is mad and crazy, still not sleeping. Work is just like I have never had a break - back into major stress, too much to do and not enough time at work to do it in. Have tried to concentrate this last week of holiday on Uni preparation - God I don't know why I thought I could do it. Poetry is flowing - it seems when I am miserable it does. I can't stop cyring when I am on my own - rest of time brave and smiley face and everyone 's all okay and I am coping. If they could see inside my head......I am petrified and no-one cares, I can't talk to anyone - it sounds ridiculous to say my counsellor is leaving and I can't cope. He can't he just can't how can he leave me, how can he?